


He Knows

by leporicide



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cheating, Emotional Infidelity, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7568401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leporicide/pseuds/leporicide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Decisions made in haste usually lack rationale and worst of all they don't carry intentions, good or bad. It's those decisions that keep you up at night and those decisions that keep you going through the day. It's those decisions that take enough hold of your throat to prevent you from making things right and yet not enough to stop you from making more of them. You just hope others won't find out. </p><p>Or: Keith doesn't quite know how he got to this point with Shiro's boyfriend Lance, but he has, and the last thing he wants to do is think too much about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Knows

**Author's Note:**

> Purely self indulgent. No, I don't condone cheating on your loved one. Yes, I do like writing polygamous relationships but this is not that kind of fic sadly. 
> 
> Written with the steady guidance of @hanahaki_ on Twitter (Kouji) who also likes to indulge in sin with me. Come simmer in angst with us. 
> 
> Also; I listened to J.Cole's She Knows while writing this and it's now permanently on my angst klance playlist

April 22, 2073

Keith stands awkwardly between the rows of seats. He's usually against large crowds, but Shiro had promised him they'd stick together, that Keith won't really have to talk to anyone but Hunk, considering this gathering was for him.

A waiter passes by him, a tray of shots lined neatly in his hands. Keith doesn't even think hard about it, reaching with steady fingers and gulping the vodka down. It burns his throat, sends spears into his belly and he's thankful for the distraction.

Hunk is getting married, a girl Keith hasn't really met before, Shay-something, but the bachelor party was a way to show support. Shiro was the one to convince him to come, they were both invited. Keith scans the place for either of them, struggling to pinpoint Shiro, especially with another tray of alcohol capturing his attention.

After a few drinks and some stumbling around, he spots Hunk laughing with someone Keith has never seen before. He's tall, slim and Keith is reminded of a doe. He's too busy staring at the stranger to realize Hunk is pointing at him, gesturing for him to make his way over to them. Keith is caught, empty handed and stranded in a sea of bodies. He walks over like he doesn't care.

"Congratulations, man," he mutters formally, making his way to Hunk with a small unsure smile. Hunk returns it twice as large, showing all his teeth.

"Thanks! I'm happy you came," he laughs out, going for a one arm hug and Keith almost shrinks away from the physical contact and where the fuck is Shiro.

"I don't think I've ever seen you before. Friend from school," the stranger is talking, facing Hunk and Keith notes length of his lashes, the curl of his lips, red from biting at them nervously.

"Oh yeah! Let me introduce you. This is Keith, from my engineering class last year. He's old friends with Shiro and together we passed that class by the skin of our teeth."

The stranger is laughing, and Keith thinks it sounded melodic, like church bells. "Weren't you the top of the class?"

"That was no easy feat!" Hunk shoved him and Keith feels awkward, like a missing piece of a machine that doesn't require it to function. A loose screw, a missing but unnecessary bolt. "Keith, this is Lance. He's my best friend from my home town."

Lance smiles, the skin around his eyes crinkle and he's got a light flush of red on his cheeks, probably from drinking. "Nice to meet you!" He's excitable, extending his hand out for Keith.

Keith looks at it, at the dark long fingers and the meticulously cared for nails, at the small scar on his thumb and the delicate bones of his wrist. He doesn't shake his hand.

Lance slowly withdraws, a frown forming on his lips. "Well, alright assho--"

"Shiro!" Hunk calls for, spotting a potential fight with proper practice, summoning their old TA from across the floor. Shiro looks up and waves at them, shooting Keith an apologetic shrug as he weaves his way up to them.

"Lance! This is Shiro, our old TA," Hunk introduces but it isn't necessary because Keith spots the way Lance's eyes light up, glittering with something vulnerable and bright and he immediately feels sick.

They shake hands and Lance strikes up conversation. Shiro, despite Keith standing right there practically begging for escape, continues it. He's standing there, awestruck as the two converse and it isn't until Hunk is gently pulling Keith away that he realizes what this is.

"They look good together, don't they?" Hunk whispers, watching the two men laugh about something Keith and him can't hear. There's a warm smile on Lance's face and Shiro is stepping closer to him to say something in his ear.

Keith decides he hates Lance.

 

May 10, 2073

"I can't make it that day," Shiro mumbles from around his straw as his sips the bright red smoothie. Keith eyes him from under his bangs.

"Why? I thought you only work on weekdays?" They were planning their monthly marathon with Allura, a sweet girl they've known since Keith was standing on his grandmother's porch in the sweltering heat eight years ago.

"No, you're right. It's just," Shiro removes his lips from his straw to gesture vaguely. "I have a date."

It's news to Keith, who nearly coughs out his own smoothie. "Really? With who?" Keith quickly hunts his brain for everyone he knows, drawing a blank on anyone.

"Remember Lance? From Hunk's bachelor party?"

Keith can only nod, keeping his face still before turning back to the calendar spread on the table under them.

"Okay, how about next week?"

 

May 28, 2073

  
"So," Lance starts, scrubbing the pot in the sink as Keith stands beside him, drying dishes. "Movie nights are really fun."

"They can be," Keith grunts out, putting all his anger in cleaning the glassware. Lance is watching him as he runs his hands along the edges of the pot. Keith is watching his hands.

"Look," Lance looks unsure of himself, chewing on bottom lip. Keith wants to punch him in the mouth. "I know you probably feel like I'm intruding. I didn't know it was such a sacred thing when Shiro invited me."

Keith is on his fourth glass, something unsettling about never having gotten that many before makes him rage. "It's no big deal," Keith grits out, slamming the glass down on Allura's counter, thankful it didn't crack but not sorry.

"It looks like a big fucking deal," Lance snaps back, finishing the pot and placing it to dry. Keith glares at the offending kitchenware.

"You're annoying me."

"I couldn't tell." Keith turns to face Lance harshly, staring him down. Lance doesn't back down. "What's your problem?"

Keith wants to say Lance is his problem, that Lance is stepping into boundaries he shouldn't. He wants to hit Lance. He wants to fight him, break Lance's nose against the counter. He wants to shove his tongue down Lance's throat and let him gag on it.

"Just fuck off, Lance," he calls, making his way out of the kitchen.

"Fuck you too, Keith!" He hears shouted at his back. Keith leaves without saying goodbye to Shiro.

 

June 20, 2073

  
The summer solstice is a waste of time, Keith decides, watching Shiro take Lance's chin in his hands, cradling his face as Lance laughs at something. Keith decides he hates everything, including the fucking sun.

It's Pidge who breaks him out of his stupor, sitting next to him with a small smile on her lips. She's Lance's friend from school, a young aspiring genius. Keith can admit to admiring her graceless climb through the ranks, making her one of the top students at Lance's university. He's sure Lance is barely hanging on.

"How are you holding up?" She asks and what's with everyone being worried about him suddenly.

"Um, fine?" He's unsure what to say, Pidge and him never grew close despite all the gatherings they mutually appear at.

"They're kinda gross, right?" She nods towards the couple not too far from them. "Are they always so, you know, into each other?"

Keith rolls his eyes. "This is actually tame," he mutters, leaning back against the chair buried in the sand. Lance chooses that moment to lean in for a kiss which Shiro happily obliges.

"At least when they're kissing," Pidge continues beside him, sipping her drink with faint interest. "His mouth is preoccupied and therefore, we're all happy."

Keith doesn't agree.

 

June 21, 2073

  
Lance's mouth is warm, flexing out the shape of Keith's dick, tongue pressed against the underside. Keith's hands are tangled in his hair, messy and uncoordinated as he tries to hold back jutting his hips. He wants to though, enjoys the soft gagging sounds Lance makes when Keith's at the back of his throat.

Lance has drool trailing down the bottom of his lip, pooling on his chest as he heaves around the appendage in his mouth. He doesn't stop laving it though, despite the distress in his eyes, the slight watering with threats to fall down his cheeks. Keith releases his hold for Lance to pull back with a pop, letting his cock rest lightly in his hand and against his cheek. He's looking at Keith with the same eyes Keith catches him give Shiro. His lips are red and wet. Keith wants to go back to fucking his mouth.

"Keith," Lance moans, licking the precum off the tip of Keith's---

Keith is jolted awake, breathing hard. He rushes to sit up, panting as he looks around and gathers himself. He's in his room, didn't get back into the apartment until late last night due to the beach party Allura hosted. He's sweating like a pig.

"Fuck," he mutters, letting his knees cradle his head as hands rush up to grip his hair tightly. "Fuck."

 

August 23, 2073

  
Shiro is standing at the bottom of Keith's apartment, slamming his finger against the buzzer to his place until Keith can't ignore it any longer. He rolls out of bed, not bothering to put on a shirt as he accepts the signal, letting Shiro gain access to the building.

He waits a few minutes, starts the coffee machine and stands by the door until he hears the familiar rap of knuckles against the door leading into his place. He opens it without looking, finds Shiro stumbling into his place looking concerned.

Keith admits he's curious, these morning arrivals aren't new in their track record but Shiro always has a good reason for them. This time, as he's looking around Keith's apartment, the worry is clear on his face.

"I got accepted." Keith waits for more of an explanation, raises an eyebrow and pours them both a cup of coffee.

"That excavation trip I was telling you about, being hosted by my old professor? I got in!" Keith suddenly realizes the gravity of the situation, setting down his coffee and finds himself nearly jumping up and down.

"Holy fuck!" He's shouting, he feels light, elated for Shiro, warmth and happiness spreading over him. He's always admired Shiro, thought he was going somewhere in his life unlike himself. This is the first step in his career.

Shiro is laughing, bashfully scratching his nose. "It's a year long trip, but it'll be incredibly worth it."

"That's amazing," Keith breathes out, feeling himself expanding until a stray thought catches his attention. "Have you told Lance?"

The question is quiet, almost disbelieving that Keith asked it at all. Shiro looks him in the eyes, sees something lurking in there that feels awfully like guilt. "I'm telling him tonight. Actually, with Hunk going to his honeymoon soon and Pidge busy with her scholarship program, I was hoping you wouldn't mind hanging out with him a few times a month."

"What the fuck, you want me to babysit your boyfriend?" That term rolls off his tongue like vomit, leaves Keith wanting to gag, empty this stomach on the floor. Shiro is eying him with genuine love.

"He gets lonely, Keith. With his best friend and me gone, I don't want him to," Shiro gestures vaguely and Keith is getting sick of seeing it. "I don't know, get bored?"

"Worried if you don't keep him on a leash, he'll hunt around," Keith mutters, hitching his voice to play it as a joke but the look on Shiro's face expresses that it did not translate yet.

"I'm more worried about him forgetting to pay for his own Netflix account monthly." Keith rolls his eyes.

He doesn't answer verbally but Shiro takes it as a yes, shoots him a dazzling smile fit for the hero Keith thinks he is.

"I'll be back in a year. It'll be faster than you think."

 

September 2, 2073

  
Keith finds himself sitting opposite of Lance on the couch. They're at Shiro's place, conducting their Allura monthly movie marathon, minus the Allura. If Keith would have known that Allura canceled last minute, he wouldn't have shown up. Something about being in Shiro's house without Shiro was unsettling. He feels as if he's intruding on something intimate.

Lance is quiet, for once, to his right, eyes focused solely on the screen. They haven't really exchanged words other than the formal hellos and welcome, yes the food can be placed right there. They ate silently too, Lance having cooked with Allura in mind. Keith wanted to hate it but found himself wordlessly grabbing seconds.

"Hey," he whispers softly, stretching his leg to gently kick Lance at the other end of the couch. Lance looks up at him, tired eyes and dark circles and Keith knows he hasn't been sleeping well since Shiro left. Neither has Keith.

Lance misunderstands the whisper, reaches into the cooler to grab Keith another beer without a word but he's already had six and he's not just buzzed anymore. "Not that, you idiot," he hisses.

Lance stops mid pass, face pulling into a frown. He puts the beer down, chugs the one in his hands to completion before opening the new one.

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Don't tell me how to fucking live my life," Lance snarls out and of course he sounds like a child, lips wrapping around the top of the bottle. Keith is mesmerized.

"I'm just saying, we are both beyond drunk watching reruns of the Little Mermaid, something more ancient than your taste in clothes."

Lance turns to him, doesn't let his lips leave the bottle as he glares, narrowing his eyes. Keith feels himself getting hard in his pants, the blood rushing like a current, warming him up.

"Stop that," he half shouts, thinks he's still whispering. Lance wiggled his eyebrows and snorts, growing more obnoxious with the bottle. Keith doesn't understand what the fuck Shiro sees in this asshole. He's reaching across the table to stop Lance, nearly falling on top of him as Lance squirms away, keeping the bottle in his mouth. After a few moments of struggling, Keith manages to wrap his fingers around the glass and rip it out of the taller male's hands, raising it above their heads. Lance looks miserable, heartbroken and tired. Keith is straddling him, setting the bottle down on the table beside them before placing both hands on either side of Lance on the armrest of the couch.

"Do you miss him," Keith whispers, feels Lance's breath touch his lips. He can't hold himself anymore, letting his tongue snake out and lick across dark lips. Lance doesn't stop him, rather he parts his lips to let the roaming tongue graze his teeth.

"Yeah," is the response Keith receives before he's connecting their mouths, pushing his tongue as deep as Lance would let him. It's ugly, messy, almost amateur and everything Keith has dreamed about since Hunk's bachelor party all those months ago. Lance responds eagerly, pulling Keith down flat on top of him, letting their bodies slot together.

Keith lets his fingers tangle in Lance's hair. "God," he murmurs when there's a brief break from kissing like hungry teenagers. "Let me fuck you." Keith feels like he's begging, almost gets angry with himself in his love drunk state. Lance whines, something deep from the back of his throat and has Keith grunting, biting his way down Lance's neck.

"Yeah," he's whispering, turning his head to give Keith more access. "Please, just--I want it," he's saying, breathing hard against Keith's forehead. He's shivering, hands rising up to claw at Keith's shirt. Keith is so weak, he's beyond denying his feelings now and as he hunts around for a condom, one he's fucking packed, he doesn't think about how low he's sunk. He doesn't think about Shiro or his friends. Instead he thinks about how easily his dick slips into Lance's mouth, like he was born to suck him off, and how nice Lance looks under him.

 

September 3, 2073

  
Despite Keith's fantasies, Lance is a quiet fuck. He holds his breath, whines low in his throat and sometimes whispers in a language Keith feels too warm to understand. He's all long limbs and lean muscle, stretches his legs around Keith and holds him.

Keith likes whatever sounds he can get out, likes that they haven't talked about his yet. Liked that the moment they got up, Lance was already straddling him, pushing Keith down harshly against the bed, riding him like his life depended on it. And maybe it did, from the dazed look in his eyes.

When it's over, they sit calmly in the kitchen eating breakfast. Lance didn't have any food lying around, it's Shiro's house Keith is reminded, but a couple of eggs. They make due, sitting across each other on the small dining table. Lance chews loudly, Keith can barely eat.

"What happened earlier," Keith begins, picking at the yolk on his plate. He wants to say 'we need to stop' or 'sorry, I lost control over myself' or even a 'did you like it?' Instead, he's finding himself saying, "I don't want it to stop."

Lance is looking at him, eyes wide, like they'll pop out of his head. "What?" He's stopped chewing, opting to stare at Keith instead.

"I don't want it to stop," Keith repeats more firmly, staring him down. "I mean, if you don't want to stop, I don't either."

Lance is biting his lip, a habit he does whenever he's nervous. "Keith," he's mumbling looking down at his plate before looking back up.

"I'm sorry, what happened was a mistake."

 

September 17, 2073 

  
Keith sits quietly in his apartment, the glow of the computer screen the only light in his bedroom. He's working on a resume, figures job hunting is the best distraction for the ever loving mess this life is right now. He's half way through his past experiences when the buzzing begins. He thinks it's Shiro until his mind clicks, that's impossible, Shiro is away for a year and God, Shiro is a way for a year what is he going to tell him.

He walks over to the intercom, holds 'talk'. "Who is it?" It's in the middle of the night, the streets are mainly empty except for the soft mewling of stray cats.

"Um," the voice crackles back, quiet through the cheap speaker. "It's Lance." Keith's hand drops to his side. He stares at the ancient device attached to his wall. He can picture it now, Lance standing awkwardly at the doorstep of his apartment, probably cold because he always seems to underdress when it really counts.

He lets him in.

 

October 13, 2073

  
They've got this thing going on, Keith can't place it. All it takes is for one of them to seek the other out, Keith stumbling into the clinic Lance volunteers at, Lance waltzing into the garage while Keith was working. It doesn't matter when but it ends, usually at Keith's place ever since that first time, falling against each other.

Keith likes the little sounds Lance makes the most, purposely tries to egg him on. Lance is too focused on control when they have sex until Keith works him more than he can take. Keith thinks that's why Lance seeks him out, can imagine Shiro holding such tight control in the bedroom. Keith is reckless, a mess. He leaves bruises on Lance's hips from when he grips too tight, ugly red spots on his collarbone from when Keith bites too hard.

He likes the feel of Lance's skin between his teeth, like some kind of animal. Lance doesn't seem to mind, in fact he tends to snap back at Keith, push him until Keith is shoving his face into the sheets as he fucks him open.

When they're not having sex, they're arguing. It's never the important stuff, never the blaring elephant in the room, the metaphorical alligator with jaws waiting to snap shut on them. It's over stupid shit, like why Lance is wearing his shirt he can't just do that. Lance wants Keith to stop using his favorite mug in the morning.

Keith won't stop, just as Lance won't stop wearing his shirts around his place, like neither of them are stopping this thing they have going, this thing where Lance ends up on the floor with his fingers tangled in Keith's hair, praying to some deity Keith can't understand as he kisses his thighs.

Keith wonders if at this point, he knows Lance better than Shiro. He wonders if Shiro knows how Lance's back bends when pushed just right, how his wrists are sensitive when Keith holds them. Wonders if he knows the small freckles that dance around Lance's neck, sprinkle into his shoulders and thighs. Wonders if Shiro would hate him. He only stops wondering when he looks down at Lance, whose lips are trembling, eyes narrowing in what looks like adoration when he's looking at Keith.

Keith thinks this might be love.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will probably be finished by the end of next week at the latest. Thanks for sticking around. 
> 
> Yell at me on Twitter (@t33thing) or tumblr (@ghostering) or shoot me comment.


End file.
